Those flipping memories.
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Sitting in a cafe by the sea in the south of England watching the waves crash up against the wooden breaks, I was talking to a friend about some recent changes in their life. As my friend described how they’d taken a redundancy package at work, I started to notice that they seemed quite down-and-out about what was going on and what the future held for them. I also noticed that each time my friend described the situation and their tone of voice shifted into a depressing tone, they’d look up at something over my shoulder and then her face would drop in a sad unhappy kind of way.
I asked my friend “What’s there?” as i pointed up to the location where she were looking. “I don’t know” was the reply and so I asked; “When you think about having taken the redundancy package, what do you think about?”. Again she looked up into the same location and said “I don’t know. I just see the place I used to work and stuck on the front of it is the number of years I put into working there”. This got me interested and I started to think about the different ways I could help my friend to get out of the stuck state and into a more resourceful place. After all, when you’re looking for a new job you’re probably going to be making some important decisions and being down-and-out is probably not the most resourceful state to make those decisions in.
So I started to think about what could be done to help my friend in a way that utilised the first state and all the anchors associated with it and lead her into something that pulled her towards a more fulfilling and exciting future. I asked my friend to think about that same thing and so she looked up into the same place as before and I asked her; “What’s next?”. She looked at me blankly stating “nothing, what do you mean?”. “Well, when you think about that thing, what’s going to come next?” again she replied “I don’t know. I just see this place with the number on it”.
I asked her if she’d ever had one of those flip books, the ones where you have a little guy on the front and you flip through the pages and as each page comes into view the picture changes and something else happens. Usually he walks around or climbs up a ladder and sometimes he does back-flips and dances around the pages. “So if something great was to happen in the next few weeks, what’s it gonna be?” I asked her. For a moment she zoned out and as her eyes re-focused she looked at me and said “I’m going to be looking for a new job”. “Now notice what image you make in your mind when you think about finding a new job and imagine putting that image right behind the first image like in a flip book so that the further through the flip book you go, the more time goes forwards”.
I asked again, “So what’s next after that? What would be the most wonderful and logical thing for you to have happen next?”. She replied that “Next I’d be going for an interview and it’d be going fantastically. I can see the interviewers smiling at me and nodding”. Again I asked her to take that image and place it behind the one of her looking for a job as she decides what’s going to come next. “Next” she says “I’ll be in my dream job enjoying every moment of doing what I love”. This time she didn’t even need the prompt as I could see her mentally stack this new image behind the others. “This seems great to me” I said…”So what’s next?”.
“Next?” she replied. “I think that’s it really? I’m doing the job i love and it’s amazing”. So I asked her, “Once you’ve got the most amazing job ever and you’re enjoying every moment of it, what else in your life is going to happen that’s going to amazing?”. She looked up and began to smile. Her eyes lit up and her cheeks relaxed. I could see the blood rushing into her face as a sense of excitement filled the room. “I’m going to be on Holiday enjoying myself, relaxing and taking in the sun, sitting on the beach as the sun sets and admiring the view over the ocean”. “That looks amazing” I said. “Now place that image behind all of the others”..”and what’s next?”. My friend looked up at me with glowing cheeks and a big grin and said “Life’s just amazing, it’s all going fantastically and everything, even if not perfect, is just how I’d like it to be”. I asked her to place that image behind all the others and for a few moments we talked about something else.
I then asked my friend to think about that first thought she’d had earlier, of the old work place and the number of years invested there above it. As her eyes de-focused and she began to look slightly down-and-out again I asked her to flip the page and see the second image of her looking for a new job, then to flick over to the third image of her having a great interview and the fourth of her being in her dream job, the fifth of her being on that amazing holiday and the sixth where everything in life is just how she’d like it to be. Then I asked her to go back to the beginning again and start from the first picture, the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth and the sixth. As we did this four or five times I started to notice that each time she went back to the first image she automatically flipped straight through all the new things and started to grin and beam. I asked her to go to the first image and to try and hold it there and look at it. As she did her cheeks began to flush and she started to laugh. I asked her “What’s so funny? I thought this was a crappy memory?”. She told me that she didn’t know why she was laughing, just that everything seemed to make more sense now and that she was ready to get moving and start building a new future. I didn’t believe her so I asked her to go back to that first memory again and to try and feel bad like she did before. Again, she started laughing and beaming.
Today’s Fun Bit.
- Think of something in your life where you feel stuck and a bit down.
- Notice how you think about that thing and notice where you make the picture in your mind (if it’s just something you say to yourself you can do this auditorily but for now choose something that has an image associated too it)
- Ask yourself the question “What would be the most perfect thing for me to have happen next if anything was possible”.
- Notice what you think about and what image comes to mind for that thought.
- Imagine that image being behind the first one like in a flip book
- Repeat these steps with at least 6 things that lead to better and better things. Choose things that make you feel fantastic more and more.
- Start to run through each of the slides in this flip book going from 1 through 6. Repeat this 6 times.
- Think about what it was that was making you feel stuck and notice what’s different.
- Start doing what it takes to make your dreams and ambitions more real every day.
I’d love to hear your feedback of how this works for you. Remember, I made this up, so there are no real rules as long as you feel good and start to make it so that when you notice you’re feeling stuck, that you start to use that as the base of something new and engaging in your life. There are many ways you can use this technique to get yourself or your clients from one place to another and with the build in future pacing used here, you’ll most likely find that the more stuck you get in life with things the more you’ll find new ways to do new things and life will become a more creative process. Keep learning, keep building more and more desirable futures and let me know how well this works for you.
Love, Jamie
