On Smiling Back
I remember walking down the street on my way to work one time during Autumn. The sun was shining through the trees, the leaves were brown and piled up by the side of the pavement, there was a nice chill to the air that created a steam on my breath and there was a sense of contentment around me that made life even more enjoyable.
As I walked past one of the bus stops on my route, feeling good for no reason, taking in the Autumn air and generally feeling content with the world around me, I decided to smile at a young woman who was waiting for her bus. Every ounce of joy and happiness and love went into the smile and as I beamed at this young woman, it happened.
“The Stare”
The look that came from this woman emanated with an essence of “Don’t you dare look at me you piece of shit, how dare your eyes cast towards me in an attempt to make me feel good. You piece of smiling scum.”
I immediately dropped my eyes, changed how I was walking and became almost apologetic that I’d dare intrude in the cesspit of despair that this woman was clearly very happy and content being a part of.
As I noticed myself doing this, I burst out laughing in the street which brought me back to the kinda of feelings I’d have rather been having.
But it got me thinking. How often do we do this kind of thing to ourselves. How often do we smile to ourselves only to have our “inner-self” stare back in disgust in order to remind us that it’s not time to be happy yet, that we’ve not achieved what we have to and how dare we even try and be happy because it’s just not time.
The more likely truth is that the more we learn to allow ourselves to smile back, the more happy we’re going to allow ourselves to feel and the easier it’ll be to achieve anything we want.
Take a moment today to just notice what it’s like to be you. Notice where you are, who’s around you, what you’ve been doing, what it feels like to be sitting/standing where you are and relax into that state that lets you know you’re thankful for just being.
Then begin to smile to yourself, physically, and allow your smile to extend right through your body. Let yourself know that it’s cool, that you can relax into the smile and let it fill your whole body. As you do this, notice how you feel and notice whether you’re allowing yourself to smile back from the inside. If you’re not, let yourself know that it’s ok, that the world wont end and that you’ll still achieve everything you want and more except you’ll feel amazing as you do so.
You see, when we learn to smile back and let ourselves know that it’s ok to feel fantastic, we’ll feel even more amazing that we could have imagined. This is the place where we achieve our dreams and desires.
Love, Jamie
