On Stopping Yourself Stopping Yourself

“You’re doing WHAT ?!?!?!”

Was the first sentence out of her mouth after I told her I had a Salsa lesson booked in for this week.

“You can’t do that…What’s wrong with you?”

I wasn’t entirely sure where the conversation was going at this point but I had a good idea.

“Look, if you were a hunky Spanish guy then I could understand, but you’re a tall white English guy who’s never danced in his life!!…”

“…OK look… Just tell me you’re gay and it’ll all make sense…please”.

It was at this point that something in my mind went *Bing!* and it suddenly struck me what was going on. For a long time I’d listened to what other people thought and even took on some of their ideas however I’d never really thought of it in the same way as I was at that moment.

I asked myself the following question:

What things in my life do I stop myself from doing simply because I imagine I’d have to BE something in order to DO something else.

There are people I know who wont do things because it’s not manly, it’s not cool, it’s not the norm, it’s not what people over 40 do, its too cliche and any other manner of reasons.

The truth is that doing something doesn’t make you be something.

When you think about all the opportunities that may come your way and be brushed aside because “That isn’t what I am” you might just slap yourself on the head with a loud “doh!” but instead, think about how you can go about creating a sense of comfort within yourself that allows you to go for anything you want.

There’s no such thing as types of people who do x and types of people who do y. There are just us. Real people who do real things and each of us is free enjoy the things we want to enjoy.

Have a think about 3 things that you wanted to do and have not done because you thought you might be seen as being a certain type of person or because people like you just don’t do those kinds of things.

Then make a decision to stop stopping yourself and to start building a life that allows you the freedom to do what makes you happy.

Keep smiling and I look forward to reading about some of your experiences here.

Love, Jamie