I don’t want you to be ok

Posted by Jamie Dixon on Aug 30, 2011 in sharing |

Sitting in the garden having a conversation with a close family member, they leaned over and whispered, “I just want you to be ok Jamie. As long as you’re ok, I’m happy”.

Before even having chance to think I replied “You know what, I don’t want the same for you. I don’t want you to be ok”.

Over the past few months I’ve been discovering a lot about myself. The more I’ve looked into my own heart the more I’m realising that I don’t want anybody to be anything that they’re not right now.

Enquiring about what it means to me when I say “I want you to be ok”, I learned that I treat people as if they need to change, as if what they are right now isn’t good enough and somehow less than perfection.

I know that isn’t a lesson I want to teach. My experience is that every person is perfect just as they are. They may change in the future, even moments from now, but in this instant whatever they are is perfect.

This has been a really important lesson for me to learn. I’m discovering that when I see people exactly as they are, as perfect human beings doing the very best they can do, I see myself as I truly am, love.

As I spoke these words to a face filled with confusion, I finished: “I never want you to be anything you’re not right now”.

Never have I seen so much love in someones eyes as I did in that moment. When someone experiences what it means to be loved, unconditionally, the doors to a new universe open up inside them.

With all my heart x


Sep 4, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Good post with some nice sentiments.

I like the idea of not wanting somebody to be something they’re not. Especially if they’re happy with everything that they are. But I can’t completely let go of wanting somebody to be ok, if they’re not happy with part(s) of who they are.

Though typical of your writings, it’s lots of food for thought.

Jamie Dixon
Sep 4, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Yeah I think that’s one of the hardest things to let go of, especially with people we care about.

To me it’s not about whether we do or don’t do some behaviour but it’s about where my focus of attention is.

When I see someone I love and I think “aw, that person needs my help, they aren’t ok as they are and I should help them change”….that’s different than when I think “You know, I really love this person and they seem down, what’s the most loving thing I can do right now”.

Perhaps both questions reveal the same behaviour outwardly in the world, but when my focus of attention is on love rather than helping, I find I really reveal that love and I demonstrate how perfect that person is right now.

Thanks for commenting Paul :)

Much love to you x



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